Dissociative Fugue

I love summer, I like warm and hot wind blow on my face,
it makes me kinda comfortable. It keeps me warm even I'm alone.
That really makes me feel safe all the time.
I shall travel all the time in this summer time.

    As usual, this sunday weather is hot insane even the clock strikes 4 in the afternoon, it doesn't seem like getting cooler a bit. I went on a car and let it drives itself, heading to a wedding dinner, what leaving at 4pm? where the dinner start at 7pm?...never mind I don't give a shit, anything will do, tired to argue to fight for what I want and to voice out my opinion, just give me one moment to rest.


    Seriously I don't know where the venue is, I just know the car was heading to Sg. Buloh direction, I keep looking out of the window, lots of palm trees and big farm, random cows and sheep, rural village, bright sky, warm yet windy enough to hypnotize me into sleep. That's a too lovely nature trip, previous I was kinda stress and looking forward to have a trip like this, out of the city out of the hustle life.


    When I wake up, I found myself into a small town or kampung and seriously I don't where I am yet I don't plan to find out where I'm located. I felt that this feeling is great, not knowing where u are right now, forgetting what u gonna do on tomorrow, or even forget tomorrow is holy monday u gotta work lol #Purposely tune myself into dissociative fugue

    I found a kinda cool mcD then, well I don't really enjoy fast food, anyway just for a break and have a cup of tea isn't a bad thing for that moment.

    Well, wedding dinner, as usual, seeing others getting marry n their wedding album, being asked am I working or studying, What kind of work u are doing? When is your turn to get married etc and KTV session was awful, most of the guests on the stage were lousy and noisy...and the worst thing, I was sitting quite near the base and speaker...T.T

    Food is fine and I don't dare to drink too much of beer, I don't wanna mess up with my cousin wedding dinner lol and I finally know where I am lol it is in kuala selangor, some random place call 1 plaza, surprising that small town got this plaza with cinema, snooker, ktv room and opened air steak house on the top roof, not bad, lots of entertainment.

Separation Anxiety

   I came across with this,

Its said that friends can go for LONG periods of time without seeing each other and never question the friendship. These types of friends,pick up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been or how far away they live, and they DON'T hold grudges. They understand that life is BUSY..but you will always love them. Re-post if you have at least 1 of these friends, they will know who they are..

   Think deeply, I do have friends like this, at least I feel this way as mentioned above quote. Few days ago I met a friend who just came back from New Zealand, knowing him since form1 lol, oh my, lots of memory of high school life.


   Have not been hanging out for a long time and never expect would bang up in garden randomly. Really, for about 2 years never meet, I barely could recognize him *from the back* however I was surprised and can't think much things to ask or to say, but the feeling was like, we just met 1 or 2 weeks ago.


   Talking about best friend/close friend, I was once felt insecure when friends requested (just for any valid reasons): "Could we become best-best friend forever~?" Well, not that I don't like you or I don't want to be your best friend, I just felt insecure, saying or promising that statement because I afraid to lose someone, a best friend or beloved one.


    In fact, I so hope that I could be your best friend forever and rejoice the fun we have now and in the future. But I always have feeling that the "authority" up there would take away what you have possessed and what you are happy with, making you from happy to unhappy, high up in the sky to fall down on the ground. So I rather not possess it or speak it loudly or to announce it officially lol so that I would not lose anything.


I just have lost too much, and can't bear with it anymore if I just lose anything more. Thus, there comes up a theory,"If Losing or Separating with someone you love is certain, could we choose not to love? So that we won't lose and feel awfully when the lost or separation occur", this applies to friendship, family and romantic relationship.


Anyway, how could we stop ourselves to express? Once I was asked, although I was feeling insecure to promise you, but deep in my heart, you are already my best friend, my beloved family, my beloved one. Making a statement like I love you is like acknowledging that I'll be losing you, someday.

The Separation of Land and Water by Michelangelo

I just wanna make myself unaware of the "lost, separation, grief and awful" part.
but when the day has came, I'd make our history like a book of art.

Alone-Money-Saving-Dinner Mission

These few days having lots of work, just hope that is temporary or else i hope will increase my salary lol

Was planned to have dinner with lovely one, who knows ended up to have dinner alone.
Not sure where to go for dinner, it was late and i don't think to eat too full....at the same time wanna to save money due to my wallet is bleeding (my car was fixed for rm4.3k)

So, my dinner must fulfill 2 requirements: Cheap, Simple, high fiber and low calories...ok...total 4 requirements, if you break down like that lol

• roti canai, cheap but high cal and no veggie
• hawker soup mee etc, hmm less veggie also don't like
• fried rice/fried mee, too oily and heaty
• luicha @ sri sinar, seems to be fine, high fiber, but then kinda expensive, abt rm10 per bowl and portion is too big
• last idea generated = Subway! price rm7 .50, fine. Various of veggie, good, but then not sure what's today special menu, don't feel like having too meaty one....wanna go vegan recently....

Somehow i still can't make up my mind, and suddenly i think of pizzahut, the garden salad rm6 .50 lol well, so happen i was just ran-doming around in another part of sri damansara, where i lived in that area for abt half years? when i was in primary school...it just reminded me that part of memory which was long forgotten.

So there is a pizzahut outlets...went up and solely ordered a salad and a drink....is anyone did that before? Because i don't think got such person go for pizzahut and only order 1 salad n drink LOL  * the waiter look at me with a kinda weird way *

Perhaps this was one of the random thing i did, for this month...XD 

and...da bill turned out 6 .5+3 .9+1 .66(Chrages&tax) = RM 12 .06  

=  =   Alone-Money-Saving-Dinner Mission Failed

the mechanic said:" u're really lucky..."

      Last night went to Justin's wedding dinner, oh well i had couples glass of beer, as usual juz flush on my entire face and head with weird and funny behavior *even i'm not drunk i behavior like that, somehow...*

     While i was driving back home...strangely i felt that my steering wheel was keep shaking and turn left n right forcefully kinda horrible like da car was possessed = = okay, it wasn't too "forcefully"...i just need more strength than usual to hold it tight... but this experience was really freak me out as if da tyre puncture or what....i quickly off all my booming song n try to listen any strange sounds of da whole damn car...it really got some strange thingy and i had a bad feeling abt it...just worry dunno which part of da car is spoiled...


      anyway, it just shake for that 5 sec...so i thought it was the road is rough and not flat....but i still have da bad feeling. Told my dad abt this and the nxt morning i still drive da car to work...and this time i speed up to 100km/h on da high way, i guess most probably is da drive shaft spoiled, that's why when i turn da steering to the end it sounds ugly *not the 1st time i got my drive shaft spoiled*

       so i think worst come to worst, my tyre will just drop out of my car n fly far far n my car will be fried by vehicle that can't stop in time from behind n i got myself killed in such tragic accident LOL, disappointingly after 100km/h still ntg....

      but when i speed back to normal speed like 60km/h SUDDENLY da steering shake seriously as if... really both of da front tyre will jus fly out from my car...i put on double signal and slow down my car in da damn highway...other vehicle no matter front back or beside was like omG wat happen to this guy n obviously keep distance from my car = =

      i juz pray my tyre will not leave me alone til i reach my office, bcuz it would be so awkward n awful to stop my car aside n to fix it, i will be late then...when i reached office peacefully, called my dad, n he also felt that was dangerous to wait me drive back only go for checking.

      so he brought a mechanic n took my car for service, after i went back n he told me da car got huge problem all da belows parts were spoiled and needed to change:

• drive shaft*confrimed*
• engine mounting
• engine cylinder*engine oil leaking*
• suspension
• gear box*gear oil leaking*
• water pump
• brake pad
• tyres
• timing belt *mechanic said: it a-l-m-o-s-t break*

oh my holy fool.....estimated need 5k to fix my car...howww~~~~

      but i'm lucky, bcuz the timing belt is not yet break, last time my bro's car, da timing belt break n triggered other part of car also spoiled...it needed abr 1k just to fix that part alone.....the mechanic said: "You are lucky ar, almost spoiled you know~"

haizz....no money no honey no plan...>.<